It has been an interesting few days. Friends and family at home and church now know about my job situation. I have gotten three types of responses, and I am overwhelmed by the amount of love and concern that everyone has shown me. There are the people who are shocked and angry and use words like “terrible” and “devastating” and in general feel that this is a huge setback and they make me feel I should be crying nonstop. Then there are people who have been through unemployment before. They are the ones with practical feedback and encouragement that I will get through this. I told Anthony that I started to wonder if I should feel worse about this given how so many people are reacting.
Then there are a few who either have read my blog or showed interest in finding out how I am feeling, instead of telling me how bad they feel. Those conversations touch on the excitement of what is ahead and the encouragement and strength needed to get through the tasks and waiting ahead of me/us. Those conversations have been fun and fruitful. As one friend said, I don’t need to feel worse because that would just mean I was worrying.
Anthony has joked that he thinks I should have consulted him before praying such a big prayer. He is wonderful about all of this, he’s even more excited than I am (he’s been unemployed more times than I have, too).
One opportunity at work didn’t come through, so this week I will begin seriously searching and praying nonstop for God’s guidance in the right direction. I realized Friday while I was waiting to see if that opportunity to stay would work out, that I would indeed stay if given the chance. I’m not sure if it is a desire to stay safe or prudent, but it may be that God has to close all of those doors on me. If that happens, I can’t be disappointed, because it just means He has plans for me elsewhere. I’ll cling to that, because while my blog posts are discussing the excitement, I have to admit there have been a few tears and feelings of anger and frustration too.
One final thought for this post. Over the past few months as God has been convicting me and drawing my heart out and away from myself, I have thought about finding another career or other way to serve. I remember thinking that if something big was planned it would have to wait two years while I continued to work for my employer in return for my tuition. Well, that “roadblock” has been removed.