Anthony’s parents split when he was still in school. His mom took the youngest brother and their sister away, leaving Anthony and Dave with their dad. Actually, Anthony refused to go with her, he knew she was wrong to leave and he didn’t want to go with her. He loved her and missed her and still cries sometimes about it, but he stayed to support his dad, and hoped that his mother would realize she was wrong and come home.
Things changed and Anthony and David were actually without a home for awhile, before moving in with their aunt and grandfather. Anthony stayed focused and got through high school and into college, and out of the house. Then he took care of getting David to a supportive home. What he thought was best for him. And Dave seemed to flourish there, graduating from high school a few years later with flying colors and a good network of friends.
When I met them, they were close but competitive, trying to one-up each other. That seemed to mellow as they matured, although they always enjoyed comparing notes and seemed to have some scorecard they were updating. They both loved computers, and then the internet, and all the gadgets. Dave pulled ahead in the internet marketing and Anthony loved that he could call up Dave and talk about something and pick Dave’s brain for knowledge and experience.
When Alison told us that David had left, we rushed up here. I insisted, I couldn’t imagine David doing this and I couldn’t let Alison go through it alone. The next night David came by the house and we knew it might be our only chance to talk to him. David seemed upset to see us, but eventually agreed to talk, outside in the driveway though, not in the house. We put on coats and headed out. David seemed headed toward his car, so I was a little glad Anthony had moved his truck to at least slow David down if he tried to leave. We just wanted to talk to him.
David turned around and actually started the conversation by stating that he understood why we were there and that he would be doing the same thing in our place. But he quickly moved into being angry that we were there and that we wanted to talk to him. Anthony tried to tell Dave that he was in (spiritual) danger, and we both reminded him that what he was doing was a sin and he should know better.
Anyway, after Dave’s non-explanation, Anthony went to move the truck so Dave could easily get out of the driveway. Dave wasn’t listening to us and he wasn’t clearing anything up, but nothing was to be gained from the stalemate. Anthony moved the truck and I went inside to get warm. A few minutes later Dave was still out there because Alison went out to beg him again to come home and work on their marriage. Finally we all left him standing there and he drove away.
That night Anthony put up his website letters to dave navarro where he posted pictures of Dave’s family to remind him of what he was leaving, and a letter asking him to do what was right and come home. Anthony posted a link to that website on his facebook profile and a few other people visited the site and wrote letters. Anthony has continued to post there, usually pulling words from David’s own business site or interviews and showing how his current behavior makes no sense in light of what Dave has always said.
Dave had a business trip in NY, so Alison and the boys came to spend the weekend with us, and while at our house Alison explained to the younger boys that Dad wasn’t going to be living with them for a while because he had to work, but that he still loves them and will see them as often as he can. While we’ve had conversations with Jacob (15), mostly to give him an opportunity to talk through his feelings, Alison is the only one who has said anything to the younger boys about Dave. Anthony and I don’t want to get into that role of talking about where Dave is or what he’s doing, and Alison has fielded the few comments that have come from them. The younger ones don’t have access to the internet so they haven’t seen the website. Jacob has seen it and doesn’t think it will help things.
Based on one face to face where actually I think Jacob and I did more of the talking, and the website that isn’t even on the first two pages of a Google search of Dave’s name or business, David has declared the house is a hostile environment and that Anthony is exerting some influence over his children to alienate them from their father.
Anthony has been in Charlotte most of the past week and David hasn’t spoken to his two youngest children in over 2 weeks so he has no idea how they feel about him. He has emailed Anthony to threaten that he’s engaging a libel lawyer (sorry Dave, it has to not be the truth to be libel) and gotten his lawyer to tell Alison’s lawyer that she needs to limit Anthony’s access to the boys. Here is a male role-model, being loving, faithful, (with an iPhone and iPad full of cool games), and a large share of Alison’s support base, and David wants to run him off. Why is David doing this to his brother and his wife and children? What are we supposed to think about Dave when this is how he reacts?
