Trying to define how I felt yesterday I came up with lassitude and looked it up to see if I was right. It fits.
But of course I had to then click on Languor, which led to Lethargy which led to the synonym discussion below.
lethargy, languor, lassitude, stupor, torpor mean physical or mental inertness. lethargy implies such drowsiness or aversion to activity as is induced by disease, injury, or drugs <months of lethargy followed my accident>. languor suggests inertia induced by an enervating climate or illness or love <languor induced by a tropical vacation>. lassitude stresses listlessness or indifference resulting from fatigue or poor health <a depression marked by lassitude>
Just so you have the vocabulary.
Then today, while reading further in the biography of Amy Carmichael, A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot, I ran across a few things. First up is Mathew Arnold’s tribute to his father in Rugby Chapel, found on page 225.If in the paths of the world Stones might have wounded thy feet, Toil and dejection have tried Thy spirit, of that we saw nothing. To us thou wast still Cheerful and helpful and firm… Languor is not in your heart, Weakness is not in your word, Weariness not on your brown.
Hm… no languor or weariness. I’m not up to that, obviously.
In the chapter before that Amy wrote this prayer-poem (p 221)From prayer that asks that I may be Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee, From fearing when I should aspire, From faltering when I should climb higher, From silken self, O Captain, free Thy soldier who would follow Thee. From subtle love of softening things, From easy choices, weakenings, (Not thus are spirits fortified, Not this way went the Crucified,) From all that dims Thy Calvary, O Lamb of God, deliver me. Give me the love that leads the way, The faith that nothing can dismay The hope no disappointments tire The passion that will burn like fire, Let me not sink to be a clod: Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.
A tad convicting and a good reminder for someone feeling a bit like a clod this week.
This morning I received a call from another woman in my denomination. Not someone I’m very close to, but we do get along well and share values and traits. She asked how I was doing and I forgot to give the usual response 🙂 I gave a fairly honest answer that work has me stressed these days and I’m tired. She shared such encouraging words with me and prayed for me (and both of us) before we ended the call. God is surrounding me, and I’m trying to listen and live out the truth.
Well, this post doesn’t seem to be very organized, and the points that were brought home to me today may not be clear to anyone else reading this. But my God is good and faithful and that is the important part.